Monas Blog

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“I’m Still Standin” — & Will Be Post-Coronavirus

Severe depression, gut wrenching anxiety, intense PTSD, lost financial security, difficult health effects, loss of friends, extraordinary grief, devastation of my world. I’ve experienced these and more by my having encountered and loved a Narcissist.

I didn’t know that this man, who became the love of my life, had Narcissistic Personality Disorder. He was a master of deception and I was gaslighted as much as a person could possibly be.

I didn’t know he was leading a double life — one with me and … CLICK HERE to continue

Prey of the Narcissist: An Easy Mark

My therapist has said that I’m an “easy mark for a Narcissist”. That after I again expressed compassion for the man who nearly destroyed me.

He has Narcissistic Personality Disorder. But, while the therapist respects that I care about people and want to help others in need, she understands that Narcissists prey on the empathic, compassionate and caring.

She believes that, instead of compassion, I have to develop anger at him for what he did to me in order to escape his grip. Kind of like the stages of grief.

I’m trained in psychology too and I know a great deal about Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Based on my own experience, and who I am as a person, I have a different perspective.

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Interview with Former Playboy Bunny Triggers Painful Memories

A major news network (CNN – Anderson Cooper) aired an interview last night with former Playboy Bunny Karen McDougall about her alleged ten-month affair with Donald Trump. The hour-long interview was followed by a discussion with prominent panelists. Watching it was painful but it also brought new insights related to an extremely difficult experience in my life. Some of the interview highlights follow along with my reactions.

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What happened to me involved unspeakable, horrible acts. I’ve worked so hard to overcome it. But my recovery process has been slow and very difficult. A powerful resource has come into my life that is helping me move forward.

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… Some of us have people who care and who hurt by seeing us hurt. They may not understand our feelings or behavior. But they care about us. The best gifts we can give to them (for the holidays or at any time) include … Some victims who are suffering aren’t with others who care. If that’s the case for you several gifts include ….

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August 3, 2017

Hand with marker writing the word Truth

… Some habitual liars go beyond conscious action into the realm of unconscious acts. The habit can be so ingrained that they no longer even realize they’re doing it.

Then there is the most extreme version: the pathological liar. They lie all the time — about things large and small, including things where there is no apparent reason for them to have told lies.

Pathological liars will even lie when they know that they or their loved ones will be hurt by the lies they’re about to tell. …

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January 20, 2017

“Fake news” is in the headlines today as a tactic of political figures and others to influence outcomes of the day. The practice has become so prominent as to be defined in Wikipedia. They refer to it this way:

“Fake news websites (also referred to as hoax news) deliberately publish hoaxes, propaganda, and disinformation — using social media to drive web traffic and amplify their effect. Unlike news satire, fake news websites seek to mislead, rather than entertain, readers for financial, political, or other gain.”

Pathological liars are the masters of fake news of a different type. They create distorted realities for the people around them based on all manner of lies and deception.

While being a pathological liar is not the same thing as the condition of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, Narcissists …

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July 30, 2016

Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, my “identity” has just been stolen!! Something I’ve dreaded for years. …

Why is this relevant for this Blog? Because the disordered perpetrator in my personal life affected me in drastic ways that have greatly changed my physical appearance (in a bad way) AND taken away major parts of who I was as a person. He, in effect, stole my identity way worse than a two-bit thief (or a sophisticated cyber-crimer) could do. …

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July 22, 2016

Driving home from a doctor’s appointment and I was so hungry. Problems with eating lately and it had been much too long of a time between meals. I also knew there wasn’t much food on hand at the house and nothing that sounded appealing. But I still had to force myself to pull into the grocery store parking lot. Going to the store was the absolute last thing I felt like doing.

It took all the strength I could muster to get out of the car and start making my way to the store. A lady called out to me from the next line of parked cars and asked if could help her out with some gas money. Little did she know that I could barely walk.  I felt like I was about to collapse and was doing everything I could just to “keep it together”.

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July 20, 2016

Once you learn the behaviors of the Narcissist, Psychopathic Liar and Sociopath their behavioral patterns become easy to predict and much easier to understand.

It typically takes being away from a situation, and an abusive person, to grasp how they operate. When one is in their “control” or under their “spell”, it’s much harder to see the reality of what’s happening.

But what’s generally happening is a series of patterns in their behavior … a formula of sorts that they operate by on a routine basis.

I had no way of knowing, and no reason to suspect, what was going on. I was trusting and loving. Those are good things, actually great things, though they led to enormous hurt on my part.

As I look back I can see clues … Click here for rest of article


EMOTIONAL RECOVERY — Warning: Labels May Make the Problem Worse!

June 2016

I read a very good article recently that made insightful points for people with (or trying to understand) Complex PTSD. However, I had one important difference with the author’s take.

I’m not a doctor or a psychologist. But I take issue with her repeated referring to C-PTSD as a “disease”. I refer to it as a “condition”. Professionals in the field also refer to it as a disorder or an anxiety disorder.

Official definitions can be important but sometimes they can amount to damaging labels. A “disease” makes it sound like something very hard if not impossible to overcome.
Calling C-PTSD (or other forms of emotional distress and reaction) a disease places an added burden on the person who is experiencing it. Even if a psychologically-induced burden.    Click for rest of article